


I Know You Will

by Ilvermere



Series: Tails of the Fae [3]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, M/M, Sad Ending, What Could Have Been
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 04:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11913405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilvermere/pseuds/Ilvermere
Summary: "Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'."-- John Greenleaf Whittier





	I Know You Will

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Illy here with another tale!
> 
> This one is sad. I hope y'all like sad things.  
> Maybe not as sad as that summary or that title, but still pretty close. 
> 
> Lots of inspiration from Lana Del Rey's "Young and Beautiful".
> 
> Buckle up and enjoy~

 

 _“Loke...I’m sorry...I l-love you...”_

_“No, Gray! Stay with me! No! **GRAY**!”_  

The orange-haired spirit cradled the frail body tightly to his chest. How could it feel this frail? For as long as the Lion had known him, the ice mage had been strong and steady. Stalwart as the mightiest glaciers with a spine of steel and a will of iron. 

But now he was limp in his arms and the Lion wanted to scream. Wanted to roar his grief to the highest heavens until even the Celestial King in his starlit castle felt it. 

He wanted everyone—whether they were human, spirit, or something else entirely—to know that on this day, the Great Lion had lost his heart and soul. 

Leo curled closer to Gray’s still form—cold, so cold; colder than Gray had ever been. Gray who, despite his chilly temperature, always possessed an encompassing warmth for those he loved. How was he supposed to continue without that familiar, comforting presence? 

He may be centuries old, but Leo had never felt a loss as poignant as this. Gray had been his friend, his companion, his partner, his confidant, his lover, his heart. Though he doubted Gray ever realized it, Leo knew that he would love Gray until the stars ran cold. 

Oh, how he wished the stars would just freeze solid. At least then, he would have a permanent memorial to honor his beloved. 

Gray’s death ached more than any passing of his masters and mistresses. Leo doubted that he would ever be happy again, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to at any rate. Gray had been his joy. 

And now he was dead.

 

* * *

 

 _“Gray, I’ve decided,” Loke declared, marching up to his ice mage with a determined air. Gray raised a brow and grinned indulgently._

_“Oh kay,” He chuckled, “what have you decided, kitty-cat?”_

_Loke took a moment to glower at the term of endearment before giving himself a shake. He reached forward and grasped Gray’s chilly hand. “I’ve made up my mind. You are my lover.”_

_Gray peered at him in bemusement when the spirit paused. “Y-es,” he drawled, “We established that weeks ago.”_

_“Yes,” Loke inhaled deeply and braced himself. “Yes we did, but there is something else.” Gray motioned him to go on. “I...I love you Gray. I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in a very, very long time. You make everything wonderful by just existing. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. Because I love you and only you, Gray.”_

_Gray was staring, speechless at his boyfriend’s confession. Loke was meeting his gaze, but there was a hint of trepidation in those dark eyes, as if he both feared and anticipated Gray’s answer._

_“Just...me?” Gray clarified._

_“Yes,” Loke murmured, a faint pink dusting his cheeks. “I want you forever, Gray. What do you say?”_

_Gray couldn’t stop the laugh bubbling in his throat. “Well, after a confession like that, I’d have to be a complete jackass to refuse, wouldn’t I?”_

_“No, Gray,” Loke immediately protested, “this is_ your _choice. You don’t owe me anything—“_

_The ice mage shut him up with a kiss, laughing softly. “Relax, Simba. I know you’d never force anything. My answer is yes.”_

 

0o0o0

 

_Gray blinked and watched Natsu fly away into a wall. What the hell?_

_“Back of, Lizard-breath,” Loke growled. Gray gaped at him, taking note of his glowing fist and angry eyes. “He’s mine.” A faint blush sneaked across Gray’s cheeks at that statement. Loke, tossing one last growl at the dazed Dragonslayer, turned and wrapped his arms possessively around Gray’s cold frame._

_“Hello,” he murmured happily and Gray laughed, causing a pleasant warmth to fill the celestial spirit’s chest._

_“Hi,” the ice mage returned amid snickers, “nice punch. I bet Flame Brain will be feeling that for a while.”_

_“Hmph,” Loke snorted, “he was eying you, but you’re_ mine _.”_

 _“Oh my gods, Loke,” Gray shifted around to smack his lover gently on the back of the head. Loke rubbed the spot with a wounded noise. “He was not “eying me”. He was trying to con me to go on a shopping trip with the girls in his place. The idiot just didn’t realize I saw through his pathetic display immediately.”_

_“He_ was _,” Loke whined. “I_ know _‘cause I look at you the same way.”_

 _“Is that so?” Gray smirked. “And how was Natsu looking at me?”_

_“Like you’re the most beautiful creature to ever breathe. Like life would be abysmal if you weren’t in it.” Loke answered immediately, completely serious._

_Gray’s eyes widened and he flushed scarlet. “I-I doubt Natsu even knows what half those words even mean.” He stammered. Loke shrugged, content in his rightness, and Gray groaned, placing his head in his hands._

_“Can we, can we_ not _discuss the fact that Natsu may or may not have the hots for me?”_

 _“He’d better not,” Loke growled possessively. Gray shook his head and ran his fingers through that fluffy orange hair, much to Loke’s pleasure._

_The celestial spirit basked in Gray’s presence, soaking up his affection for a little longer before he pulled away. Grabbing Gray’s hand and leading him out of the guild. “C’mon!” He laughed brightly. “I promised you ice cream, didn’t I?”_

_Gray smiled quietly. “Oh, remembered did you?” he teased gently. “You’re going to make me fat with all these treats.”_

_“You could never be fat, snowbird,” Loke assured with a grin over his shoulder, “you’ll be young and beautiful forever!”_

_As the words registered, Gray’s smile faded. Young and beautiful forever? Hardly. One day, Gray would be an old, withered man—certainly not an appealing lover in any sense. But would he even be a lover after that long? Would Loke become bored of him before then? After all, Gray would not stay young and beautiful for long. Unlike Loke, who remained youthful and ageless, Gray would deteriorate as the years pass, his body aging and failing._

_Why would Loke stick around at that point when he could literally have anyone he wanted?_

_“Gray?” Gray glanced up at his boyfriend to see Loke gazing at him in concern. “What’s wrong?”_

_“I..” Gray began, “I was just...” he trailed off before blurting out, “is that why you’re here? Because I’m young and beautiful to you?” As soon as he said it, his eyes dropped to the ground in shame. Of course Loke didn’t stay because of that, what was he thinking? But the thought wouldn’t go away and Gray just needed to be sure..._

_“No,” Loke answered and Gray’s head shot up._

_“Then why...?”_

_“Gray,” Loke took his hands and stared intently at him, “I stay because I love you. I love every piece of you because you mean the world to me. I love you now, and I’ll still love you when you’re old and wrinkled.” Gray studied his lover’s eyes and his chest fluttered at the look of pure love and devotion in those cat-like eyes._

_Gray smiled, reassured. “I know you will.”_

 

0o0o0

 

 _Gray stared at the mirror in disbelief. He couldn’t believe it._

_He could not_ fucking _believe it._

 _A grey hair. He had a_ grey _hair!_

 _He will_ never _live this down!_

_He anxiously ran his fingers through his shaggy mop and despaired to see more of the silver strands peeking among the inky black._

_“Gray?” A familiar voice reverberated into the bathroom from the living room. “What are you doing?”_

_Shit! “Uh, nothing!” Gray called back, frantically coming his dark tresses back over the dreaded silver hairs._

_Warm arms snaked around his waist and his back vibrated from the force of his husband’s purring._

_“Hey,” Loke murmured into his black—it was_ not grey _!—hair. “I missed you.”_

 _Despite the horrible crisis Gray was having, a smile tugged at his lips. “You saw me this morning.”_

_“Mm,” Loke agreed, “and that was too long ago!” He rested his head contentedly on Gray’s. As he shifted, though, something caught his eye in the bathroom light. A glint of silver._

_“Is...is that...?” Loke lifted his head and peered curiously at Gray’s hair. “Is that a grey hair?”_

_“No!” Gray yelped, pushing Loke back and flattening his hair with his hands. “That wasn’t. You’re just seeing things.”_

_But it was too late. Loke’s grin widened and mischief sparkled in his eyes. “Oh am I? Wouldn’t that be_ your _problem, Gray-chan? After all, you’re turning grey, Gray!” He cackled in delight at Gray’s furious glower._

_“Oh shut up,” Gray snapped crossly, “we can’t all retain our luscious locks forever.” A flicker of insecurity flashed through him at the thought of his hair turning grey. He was starting to get old, wasn’t he?_

_“You know, I think I’m looking forward to seeing you turn silver.” Loke mused. “I think you could pull it off.”_

_He gentled at the flash of insecurity in Gray’s midnight gaze. “I still think you’re utterly breathtaking, Gray. And,” he reached down, picking up Gray’s left hand and raising it eye level, thumb stroking the platinum and gold wedding ring, “I’ll still love you even when your hair turns grey.”_

_Gray smiled helplessly as Loke kissed the his ring lovingly. “I know you will.”_

 

0o0o0

 

 _Loke watched as Gray reared back his fist and punched the rogue mage right in the face, sending the man flying backwards. The ice mage then dodged into a back handspring to escape the hail of magic bullets._

_Gathering his ice, Gray formed a rampart loaded with cannons. “Ice Make: rampart!”_

_Loke knocked out another of his opponents and laughed loudly when one of Gray’s paled considerably at the icy attack force._

_With a smirk, Gray fired his cannons. “Cannon barrage!”_

_Satisfied that his husband was fine, and enjoying himself, Loke returned his focus to his own foes. Lucy was managing just fine on her own—something that Loke was immensely proud of—and none of the others in Team Natsu needed help. Loke noted with a smug pride that Team Natsu was an unstoppable force, even after all these years._

_Of course, they were only called now if there was a threat that the normal groups couldn’t handle. All of them responded enthusiastically whenever the calls came; turns out, semi-retirement was not for them. Go figure._

_With the prowess of an entire squad of S-Class mages, the rogues were defeated embarrassingly quickly, much to the chagrin of the younger group of Fairy Tail mages whom had originally been sent on the mission._

_When the dust cleared, Loke fixed his cuffs, smoothed his suit, and adjusted his shades, all with the aura of a self-satisfied feline. To his joy, Gray bounded up to him, a bright, breathless smile on his face. Excitement danced in his eyes and his black-and-silver hair seemed to be more frazzled than usual._

_It amused Loke to no end that a fight could transform his suave, collected husband into an exuberant child._

_“Oh yeah,” Gray laughed, “we kicked their_ asses _!” As he caught his breath, he bent over, hands on his knees. “Although,” he panted, “some of them got in a couple nasty bruises that I’ll be feeling tomorrow. I should’ve avoided them, but,” Gray smiled ruefully, ”I’m not as young as I once was. These older bones take their time in responding.”_

 _Loke frowned slightly. He didn’t like it when Gray spoke like that. He wasn’t old; he was as spry and capable as he’d ever been. Gray was still full of life, even now, and that was something Loke would cherish._

_“Well I hope you’re preparing yourself. ‘Cause when you can’t move anymore, I’m going to pamper the hell out of you.” Loke declared fiercely. “Because I’ll still love you, even then, my crazy snow angel.” His eyes gleamed with a smile at his last sentence and he pulled his husband into a tight embrace._

_Gray laughed happily. “I know you will, kitty-cat.”_

 

0o0o0

 

 _“Gray?” Loke whispered hesitantly. Gray remained silent, continuing to stare out the window. “Gray, talk to me. What happened? What did Wendy say?”_

_For the longest moments, Gray was so still and so silent; Loke feared, irrationally, that his husband had turned into a marble statue: soulless and dispassionate._

_Several minutes passed and Loke didn’t dare speak. After what must have been eternity, Gray finally answered._

_“There is no cure.” Came the quiet, dull response. “Wendy managed to seal it in time to stop it from killing me, but,” Gray lowered his head and clenched his hands into shaky, feeble fists, “I can’t use my hands like I used to. Basic functions are left, but that’s about it.” Gray took a deep breath and raised his head and Loke’s heart clenched at the rare tears glistening his lashes. “I can’t—I can’t mold my ice. I can’t perform my magic anymore.” The words were wrenched out in a rasped whisper._

_Something in Loke withered at the lifeless expression in Gray’s dark eyes. He couldn’t believe it—Gray couldn’t use his magic anymore? He couldn’t imagine and mold his enchanting and deadly creations anymore?_

_Gray lived for his magic. Nurtured each creation with a loving precision. Gray without Ice Creation magic was like Loke without his Regulus power. Both were so fundamentally part of them that without either, they would be nothing but shells of their former selves._

_And now Gray no longer had his magic. Could no longer create the wonders of his imagination with a simple hand gesture and the cold chill of ice._

_Loke stepped closer as Gray hunched into himself. He slowly approached and wound his arms gently around his husband’s shaking form. Gray flinched at the first contact, but then melted into Loke’s embrace, damaged hands clutching weakly at the lapels of his suit coat._

_Loke tactfully refrained from remarking about the wetness soaking into his suit as Gray buried his face in his shoulder. Instead, he ran his hands soothingly up and down Gray’s spine, pressing his nose into that shining silver hair._

_“Loke,” Gray choked out quietly, “what am I gonna do now? I can’t use my magic anymore. How am I going to work?” Loke knew that finding jobs was hardly the biggest concern for Gray at the moment._

_“Don’t worry about that,” Loke murmured, “I’ve got plenty of jewel saved up from my old jobs.”_

_Gray tried to jerk back with a protest, but Loke held him fast. “No, don’t fight me about this, Gray.” Loke rebuked sternly, silently hating the frailty he could already feel dragging Gray’s bones. “You won’t be taking advantage. I_ want _to do this for you, so please let me.”_

_“Why?” Gray’s question was nearly inaudible. “What use is a mage who can’t even use their own magic? They’re only half a person, at best.” The bitterness in Gray’s tone sent a flare of anger down Loke’s spine._

_“_ Don’t you dare say that _,” Loke hissed, pulling back to glare furiously into Gray’s dull eyes, “don’t you_ ever _say something like that again, Gray!” Gray blinked in surprise at Loke’s outburst. Loke wanted to beat some sense into his husband. “You are not half a person! Not being able to use your magic doesn’t make you a lesser being.” Loke reached forward and gently took hold of Gray’s damaged appendages, thumbs stroking the back of the ice mage’s hands. “I’m sorry Gray, I truly am.” Loke whispered sadly. “I know how much your magic meant to you. I can’t imagine not being able to use my own ever again.”_

 _“However,” Loke lightly squeezed Gray’s fingers, “this, this is not a sign of you being broken. This is a sign of you_ surviving _.” At Gray’s small frown of confusion, Loke continued. “That disease should have k-killed you Gray.” Loke’s heart skipped a beat at the mere thought of losing Gray. “But you survived, these hands are proof of that. And while it is truly a terrible side effect, I, for one, am very grateful you survived.” He kissed Gray’s fingers chastely. “I know the loss of your magic will be difficult, Gray, but I’ll be here always. Because I’ll still love you even if you can’t use any magic.”_

_Gray’s smile was tiny and achingly sad, but quietly happy as well. “I know you will.”_

 

0o0o0

 

_The orange-haired celestial spirit perched gingerly on the edge of the bed. Swallowing hard, he moved his hand to the unmoving figure on the bed and closed it around a wrinkled hand. He smiled as the arthritic fingers wrapped weakly around his hand. His dark eyes met warm, albeit hazy, ones._

_Loke grinned flirtatiously. “Well, hello there, beautiful.” He purred and was utterly joyful at the raspy chuckle he got._

_“In-incor-corrigable...” Gray wheezed, but a smile tugged at his mouth._

_Loke flicked his mane of orange loftily. “For you, snow angel? Always.” He squeezed the hand held in both of his gently and hugged it to his chest. When he spoke next, his voice softened. “How are you doing, Gray?”_

_“Same old, same old,” Gray responded breathily. Loke nodded silently before he brightened a bit at a sudden thought._

_“How’s Natsu? He still giving the nurses grief?”_

_Gray barked out a choking laugh. “Is he ever! I admit,” a sheepish expression took over Gray’s wrinkled face, “he still drags me...into his trouble sometimes. We....raced down the...hall with our walk-walkers...last time...” Gray breathed a laugh again, “drove the nurses...up the wall...just like...like old times...” Gray trailed off forlornly._

_Loke’s heart clenched. He wanted to jump and bring back Gray’s smile and get rid of that sad resignation. He hugged Gray’s hand tighter. “So,” he forced out in fake cheer, “you two under house arrest, I take it?” He was trying not to think about how much worse Gray looked, but he knew Gray, old and feeble that he was, wasn’t fooled._

_For all that his body was failing him, his mind remained as sharp as ever. Loke was unsure if that was a blessing or a curse._

_Gray humored him. “Probably. Not sure...if-if it’s really...house arrest...if I can’t...can’t leave...my room.” He added pointedly and Loke flinched. The celestial spirit refused to look at his ailing husband until a gnarled hand rested on his arm._

_“Don’t...don’t look like...like that, S-Simba,” Gray wheezed softly. “We both...knew this...would hap-happen...even...tually.”_

_“Well it shouldn’t!” Loke burst out angrily. “You’re my husband, my one and only! You’re bound by love and by marriage to a celestial spirit! Why can’t you come and stay with me?”_

_Gray was staring knowingly at him and Loke chest prickled. They both knew the question that needed to be asked, and avoiding it by wishing for impossible things was only prolonging the pain._

_The celestial spirit swallowed before opening his mouth. “How long?” he rasped, blinking rapidly at the tears lining his lashes._

_“Not...not long,” Gray whispered. “Not...not gon...na make it...to night...I think.”_

_Loke held back a wail of despair and shifted closer to his dying husband. “Oh,” he choked, “oh.”_

_Gray squeezed his hand feebly. “Don’t...don’t cry...” His eyes were so warm, Loke noticed, even as his skin cooled, “I’ve...lived a good...life. With Nat...su....Erza...Lucy...every...one....and_ you _,” he added with a loving smile._

 _A watery smile passed Loke’s face. “Yeah and I loved every moment of it.”_

_Hacking coughs wracked Gray’s fragile frame and Loke was alarmed to see the flecks of red on the pristine white sheets._

_“Hah...” Gray gasped, “Natsu’s...gonna have...to pick...up the...slack...at harr-harrass...ing the...nurses...”_

_“Those poor nurses won’t know what hit them,” Loke agreed._

_Gray turned exhaustedly toward Loke. “Kitty...think...you could...stay with...someone...as...old as...me...until...”_

_Loke understood. He leaned forward and kissed Gray’s pale forehead, brushing the strands of straggly silver hair out of his face._

_“I will stay with you always.” Loke vowed tenderly, embracing his husband. “Because I will love you for eternity, my Gray.”_

_Gray, old and wrinkled and dying that he was, smiled. “I know....you will.”_

 

* * *

 

Leo tilted his head back and wailed his despair to the skies. He couldn’t hold it back, not anymore. 

He ignored everything around him that wasn’t his dead lover. He disregarded Lucy’s frequent calls to him with only the faintest trickle of guilt. Lucy would be fine; she had the others of Team Natsu to watch over her, and she had the power to open her gates since he had used his own magic to summon himself here. 

Lucy would be okay; Gray would not be, because Gray was _dead_. 

Gray was dead and Loke despaired. Despaired and cursed his celestial mind. For it had conjured up images of what his life with Gray might have been. 

A life with love and happiness and devotion. Where he showed the world his claim, where he proposed to the love of his celestial life. Where he teased his beloved about grey hairs, where he marveled at the way his love retained his sheer liveliness for so long. Where he comforted and loved his husband after a crushing blow, where he sat with him and held him as his dearly beloved breathed his last. 

A beautiful life that Leo ached to have with Gray. A life lived to the absolute fullest with Gray. 

But that was no longer an option. That life was forever stolen from Leo, from _Gray_. 

Leo hugged the broken, bleeding body of his would-be husband and sobbed into the shaggy inky hair. His nose picked up the faint scent of pine and snow underneath the coppery tang of blood. He committed that wintry scent to memory and let his aching heart break. 

He cursed the fates for giving them this worthless job. He cursed the clients for their deception, cursed the fact that they had let Gray and his team walk into a trap. He cursed the mages of this rogue guild for taking the life of his beloved Gray.

Most of all, Leo cursed himself. For not arriving in time to save Gray, for letting him down when he had needed him the most. 

So Leo wept. 

Wept for Gray’s horrid death at the hands of such despicable foes. 

Wept for the life he would never share with Gray.

There, in a bloodstained, rundown guildhall, the celestial spirit of the Great Lion held the corpse of his heart and soul in his arms. 

There, he shattered.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I did it! I killed Gray D:  
> I'm sorry (not sorry) but it had to be done. 
> 
> If anyone's confused: the italicized sections are the life that Gray and Loke could have had, had Gray not died in that last mission. In other words, the italics were of a future that Loke's mind conjured up in response to Gray's death to show him what might have been had Gray lived. 
> 
> Clear as mud? Good. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading and Comments are love :3


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